The Best Advice

It was a summer day in Bakersfield. Red and purple drops of melted Otter Pops dotted my patio, inviting ants. My three grumpy, sweaty kids clamored to walk down to the pool again, to splash around for the second time on that sweltering day. I suggested an indoor craft project, willing to take on a sticky, glittery mess in order to stay inside with the air conditioning. One child was game, one insisted on swimming, and the other was in a fighting mood and fully prepared to loudly dash anyone’s plans, especially mine.

When my husband came home, in those days around 6:30pm, I forced myself to smile at him. It wasn’t easy. All I wanted was for him to see on my face how hard the day had been, how exhausted I was. He changed clothes, and it was time for dinner and a show. There was always some sort of singing, dancing or shenanigans for our nightly entertainment, or exasperation, depending on how we looked at it.

Kindergarten was starting in the Fall, and with my twins in school, I would, for the first time in seven years, have time to myself during the day. I was looking forward to getting the grocery shopping done without little ones hungry for everything, and to taking a shower without worrying about what they were doing. I was about to fill those free hours with duties. But my husband saw the bigger picture. “You are being given the gift of time,” he said. “Do with it something that you’ve always wanted to do.”

I didn’t see the brilliance in his pronouncement at the time, but I do now. First, doing something for yourself is self-care. Moms need to incorporate this into their busy lives. It’s important. Second, having an artistic outlet is really good for our mental health. And third, by creating something and using one of my gifts, I found an identity outside of being a wife and mother. I was a writer. I needed that.

Thanks to my husband, my writing journey began 13 years ago. Today, just weeks before my twins graduate from high school, I signed my first publishing deal. My advice to you is: Find the time to do something you love. Make your creative self a priority. Who knows what will happen when you do something you’ve always dreamt of doing? Maybe something great. Maybe something life-changing. Definitely something worthwhile.